I've wanted so many times to come back to post something but I never made the time to sit down and try and put my thoughts together. A lot has happened to me in one year... my father passed away. We'll first we found out he had cancer and then 7 months later he passed away. It was quick and painful. I wish it was neither of the two but it was. He was strong and steadfast throughout the whole process. He took his Chemo and Radiation like a champ. Far better and stronger than anyone could have ever imagined. He walked 20 miles a day almost and never missed a beat until the last two months. It just ripped through his body so quickly it was crazy watching him change.
The past few months we were able to break a lot of ground. He stopped drinking and we were able to figure each other for the wrongs each felt was due. It is tough because not a day goes by that I don't miss him. I think about him all the time. I never though things would be this hard but I'm glad in a sense that there are no more hospital visit. No more waiting for doctors and no more needles. My dad hated needles. He's in a better place and deep down I know it. I would rather I suffer 10 time over then he have to suffer one more day. I'm fortunate I got to see him that morning and say my goodbyes or as he would say see you soon.
My grandmother's husband passed away 2 weeks after my dad died. That was tough to watch her have to bury her entire family.
Haven't seen or spoken much to Willie or Natchez except for when my dad was in the hospital. It unfortunate because no matter what we're still family.
There is still a lot going on with my personally that I am going through that I don't think I'm ready to admit yet. But I'm working through it. I've noticed that I have pushed people away more and that I really could careless about some people.
I'm working through it... and I plan on seeing it through.
